i cant believe i fell fer it again..
i wun sae i fell fer ur lies..
cuz im not sure wat those are now..
if i said they were lies.. im shortchanging u.
but they were definately not the truth lah.

i noe that now..
and im not thinking it because i wan to.
i dunnoe whu u are anemore..
maybe i never knew whu u were.
but when i look at u now i see a total stranger.

i think everything that uve said abt me is either because u've said it so often that u dun even realise when it doesnt apply anemore, or, u saying it cuz u wan to keep me arnd, so that i wun give up on u, giving me some hope becuz having me arnd is better than nuthing.

i feel stupid fer letting u convince me that its all in my head..
that actually nuthing has changed
and i actually put in effort time and time again to try and see it ur way
even thou ur actions haf proven to me that uve changed.
i cant believe ive been a fooled so many times by ur words
each time thinking things will change and that u are willing to put in effort to make things better. u convince me onli because i let u.
because i trusted u more than i trusted myself..
and u treat me like a fool

well, ive been a total sucker.. falling fer it time and time again.
and its not juz ur fault..
i wasnt ready to let go too..
but im going to try now..
im not saying that i can.. and i noe it will hurt.
but its the onli way..
huili ure right, no one is indispensable.
if i dun help myself now.. i'll never be able to find myself again.

u shldnt haf lied..and u had ur chance to change things.
i noe u will never admit u lied.. and i think u realli do believe u did not.i dunnoe..
all i noe is that i see it soooo clearly now..maybe u juz dunnoe wat u wan

i'll miss the times we were close..
when i tot i knew u..
when u said wat u meant
and when u truely cared.
i will miss having sumone to turn to whu genuinely give damn abt how i felt.
and i will miss the way u make me feel, happy and at peace w myself.
and i'll miss knowing i can make u happy

i believe u still care now..
juz not in the same way..
u care becuz u think u shld.. and becuz u dun wan to be left w nuthing.

well.. like i sae b4.. i rather noe the truth.. even if it will hurt me.
its okie.. cuz im hurting already aneways.
at least then i can let go..
it wld make it alot easier if i knew it wun affect u if i let go..
alot easier if i knew there's nuting to hold on to anemore becuz uve changed.
and i think i've seen it more or less already.

that's why i think its time i stop being in denial and start letting go.
it wun happen in one night.
or even in one week..
i'll deal w it bit by bit by bit..
till the dae u dun affect me anemore.
and it will hurt alot i noe..
and im not even confident i will be able to do it
but at least i noe if i succeed, eventually there will be closure.

its juz sucky that it has come to this..
it could have been better.

-- tell me my dream has came true pls dun deny me the truth--