i change my mind.
things arent getting better..
in fact they juz got worse..
a hell lot worser..
and i tot it cldnt get any worse.

of all the times.. i needed to tok to u the most now.
but i can see ure busy.
uve got more impt things in ur life right now.
and i get it.
im trying to do the right thing.
but its so hard.
frankly it sucks being me now.
i feel so stupid.. why do i let u do this to me time and time again.
ure the onli person in the world that can really make me feel worthless.
so dun tell me all those lies.
give me hope and then take them away once again.. u nv fail to.
but y do i even let myself believe u afta getting slapped right back in the face so many times b4
its my fault, it always is.

uve made ur choice.
and ive made mine.. juz that ive not been able to stick to it.
im sorrie i keep fergetting.

i was going to sleep..
but i knew i had to do something.. aneting..
so im blogging, to keep me from crying myself to sleep fer the 4th dae in a row.

its not working.
how do u deal with realizing that everything's a lie.
and u gotta learn how to deal with everything again.. from the start.

-- remember!! nuthing is ever abt u. learn to deal. im trying, i really am--