went thru the whole dae in a daze..
unsure about wat happened.. is happening.. or gonna happen.
so many things haf happened in this 2 weeks.
so many that i cant comprehend..
afta that weekend of thinking..
still very lost..
and this week.. well.. has been eventful to sae the least.
remember a few blogs ago i said life's good now..
but i was sure sumthing will come along to spoil it..
well.. its here.. not that im suprised.
juz that it came so fast..
it seems like everytime im happy it takes a shorter time fer sumthing bad to come along to ruin it
but the scary thing is im afraid i cant deal with it this time..
cuz too many things happened.. is going to happen and i juz dun see a way out of it.
i guess things will get better.. at most when things cant get any worst then i can start to try and deal with it all over again.
its kinda hard to realli grasp the whole situation now since alot of stuff is still a ques mark.
and i may never noe..
which is actually wat makes this worst..
i guess i noe what i are of the things that's bothering me now..
but alot more i dunnoe.. or maybe im juz still in denial?
the things i noe i can try to deal with it.. and im pretty sure in awhile i will be able to
i wun feel happier.. but i can numb myself to not feel the pain.
but wat abt the things that i dunnoe..
if i dunnoe wat's making me sad.. then how to start to deal with it?
i hate this feeling..
everytime i think it cant get any worse.. it does.
and it juz did.
learning and remembering how to numb myself again.
the only way to not feel hurt is to not feel.
simple.
but each time it gets harder and harder to do it.
im afraid one day i wun be me anemore.
--it doesnt feel good thinking u're worthless, but its even worse if u KNOW u are--
--dunnoe why and dunnoe when i started having this funny little thing 4 u, but i do, well, a little, maybe or maybe not. sheesh.--
