last night was the worst night's sleep ever.
ever.
and it onli goin downhill from here

i cld nv hav even imagine that kind of loneliness
now ive been thru it
the dread of waking up and the confirmation that eveything was real
that it wasnt juz a bad dream
the hurt.

i feel like eveything juz collapsed on me
once again.. this happened when i felt like things are starting to get better.

life will nv be okie.
everythings diff.
nuthings stable
nobody nuthing can be trusted

im even too disoriented now to actually blog wat i feel
i dun noe wat to feel
how to feel.
everything else that seemed to matter so much.. everything else in my life.. juz life itself, now pale in comparison.
nuthing seems to mean anething anemore
how can they..
there's no point in anething anemore.
there is hardly even a me..

its like .. juz disintegrating slowly and painfully.
and i cant do anething abt it.
its worse than b4.

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