it didnt realli hit me till i came back to hall.
the corridor where we first met her
my lil corner in the room where she'd sleep soundly
my slippers that she'd play with.
just hanging out in hall
she always made me smile and forget all the work i had (which may not be a good thing afterall)

i miss u snowybaby.
so much
its almost like a lost a kin

but at least i noe ur in good hands.
goin to the vet together with pei and yk
seeing how much they pampered her
pink collar, pink foodbowl, home cook meals, nice area to roam about
lotsa lotsa love and attention
shelter. safety, comfort
i just have to keep telling myself she's better off like this
even if i miss her so muchall the drama, rescue missions, cold nights together, constant purring and mewing. the silly things u did. i'll miss all that.

thank you char for being there.
helping grab her when she jumped out my window onto the second story ledge, not noeing how to jump back i or jump down.
in the rain somemore
at 8am!!
u made it a ton easier for me to let go

yah i noe its just a cat.
but i cant help it.

this so doesnt help the recent bout of depression.
massive workload
exams
snowy-less......

-- let her be happy --

im so upset right now i dun noe how to function. its like im feeling constantly depressed. crap. everything around reminds me of something sad. every thought in my mind is about something i dread. i cant seem to pull away from this one this time. ive tried so hard not to slip into such a state. and ive succeeded for about 1 year? but i dunnoe why its back. so quick so sudden without any hint. It just hit me. i din even have time to defend against it. i din even noe i had to. i dun even noe why. maybe its cuz of snowy, and its not just about her impending departure. maybe its my work, 1 test 2 papers 2 presentations next week and 8 days after that the exams. or maybe its just the load of crappy things i gotta deal with this week. before my horrid work week and exams. great. but it shouldnt be this bad right. i planned for it. but everything is falling apart. admittedly a big part of it is snowy. i dunnoe if what im doin is right and even if it is do i wan to? then again, who am i to decide whats right for her or what she wants. if onli i knew. why does it gotta be so hard. i noe its just one cat to u... but its not to me. its something i care so much about, i constantly worry about her and her future. i really dunnoe what i should or even can do about it. then it hits me thati dun have time to worry. i dun! argh. its getting worse. the constant urge to run away and cry. the constant worry and inevitably. the constant tempatation to end it all. the worse part of it? not even knowing why. so how do i make it better?

we are so in love with u. i noe im goin to cry like crazy when i have to give u up. but i noe that its for the better. u'll be with people who will love and take care of u, shower u with the affection u deserve and give u a home for good. u will never haf to starve or be alone again. and we all noe how much u like company. sleepless nights sayanging u is proof. im sure weitse can atest to that and chai hui will be able soon haha. u will always be on my mind!! love u snowy baby! thank you for this 2 wonderful weeks.