im so upset right now i dun noe how to function. its like im feeling constantly depressed. crap. everything around reminds me of something sad. every thought in my mind is about something i dread. i cant seem to pull away from this one this time. ive tried so hard not to slip into such a state. and ive succeeded for about 1 year? but i dunnoe why its back. so quick so sudden without any hint. It just hit me. i din even have time to defend against it. i din even noe i had to. i dun even noe why. maybe its cuz of snowy, and its not just about her impending departure. maybe its my work, 1 test 2 papers 2 presentations next week and 8 days after that the exams. or maybe its just the load of crappy things i gotta deal with this week. before my horrid work week and exams. great. but it shouldnt be this bad right. i planned for it. but everything is falling apart. admittedly a big part of it is snowy. i dunnoe if what im doin is right and even if it is do i wan to? then again, who am i to decide whats right for her or what she wants. if onli i knew. why does it gotta be so hard. i noe its just one cat to u... but its not to me. its something i care so much about, i constantly worry about her and her future. i really dunnoe what i should or even can do about it. then it hits me thati dun have time to worry. i dun! argh. its getting worse. the constant urge to run away and cry. the constant worry and inevitably. the constant tempatation to end it all. the worse part of it? not even knowing why. so how do i make it better?