i feel realli horrible.
realli realli bad.
that realli tense, uncomfortable feeling at the back of ur throat, tears threatening to spill out any moment. i cansantly feel that way.
i hate it.
i din expect it to come back so soon
i thought i gotten over the worse period.
but now..
its like double.
not onli it hasnt been resolved
its just been made worse.
its all cumulative.
i hate it.
hate it.
why do i feel that its everyone else against me.
why is it never anyone else's fault always mine.
is it realli my prob?
but ive changed so much already
i dunnoe wat else to do.
if its realli still me then so be it
i cant be me if i change anymore
if its realli my prob then just leave me the hell alone.
im just never good enough
for u u tell me to let go.. i did. i realli did.
but still u put judgments on my actions using the past.
tats not fair
then i can never win
then wats the point of trying
for u i've tried so hard to change
constant compromising
ive never been this nice to anyone.
ya maybe its not the best anyone can do..
but its the best i can
if its not good enough then im sorry.. im not the one for u
but wat about urself?
are u good enough? did u ever try to do ur best?
i cant be the onli one trying.
im tired very tired.
this is just not impt enough for u.
u cant have the best of both worlds.. decide wat u want before u promise me anything.
u cant have everything..
COMPROMISE
enough is enough.. if it conts.. dun expect me to take any of ur shit anymore.
5 months... its just not goin to get better
its just spiraling out of control
no matter how hard i try to make it better
was it too little too late.
it realli hurts.
i dunnoe how to cont.. to go on.
i hate the dreams that i have
but i hate waking up even more.
everything is just spiraling out of control again
i dunwan to go back to 2 months
but it feels like its coming back but worse.
im realli terrified.
i dunnoe wat to do.
i dunne how to cont from here.
i dunnoe anything.
i cant on my own. i just cant
im trying realli..
why must all of u make it so difficult.
everything just crashing at one go.
EVERYTHING.
everything i tried so hard to make better.
effort i actually put in.
its not true.
u can try and try again.. but it can never be okie.
wats the point
i give up.
yes im weak.
bite me. oh wait.. u dun even care enough to.
- salt water-
