i think im goin to throw up...

its that feeling again.
the sick uncomfortable lump in the throat i try so hard to swallow away
the free flowing tears
it hurts.
im goin to throw up.

its been awhile...
and i had hoped it would last
but that familiar feeling is back again
too soon.
it hurts.

i've worked so hard at being.. ok
just ok
im happy with ok
ok is such a luxury after the last 5 months.
i just want to be ok.
but i dunnoe how.

u probably wont see this in time.
but i wish u were here.
and i realli need u.
but u wont be here for me tom...
and u havent been here for me for awhile.
after wat an ass u have been
im not about to tell u that i miss u and i need u
u noe i wont
but u prob dun care.
and no.. im not goin to the beach tom.

- sick sick sick in the stomach -